Just found this piece hidden in my journal. Dedicated to all normal inhabitants of earth. Very incomplete and senseless as usual.
Climbing down the memory rope, the cobwebs starts to strangle me. The more farther I go, the suffocation and panic gets intense. The web starts to tighten up, weird sticky spider legs crawl on my face, and I feel nauseated in their droppings. Now there is no escape. The reality seems like a speck of fading yellow sun gleam from above. Now I get trapped in this fear... this unknown fear that keeps on gnawing from my insides, tearing apart my flesh and I am afraid it will stick its sharp nails through my skin, so everyone around me will scatter around. Everyone around me... those people who don't recognize me at all, who are now a part of my life, who completes me, who makes my existence meaningful... I am sure to scare them away. They don't understand even a fraction of me. They all look amused and panicked. Is she loosing it? What is this, some sort of game she plays, so she can hurt us? Why can't she act normal? ?
"Normal" is just one of the words that I can't comprehend. Of course, there is a shit load of normal people around me with their smile so fake and their minds so crooked, that they strive to be normal, by portraying others as abnormal. . Yes, they do can talk behind my back.. yes it is allowed...freedom of speech. Haven't you heard of the first amendment? They carry their wrinkle free holy book in their left hand but has a long lashing venomous satanic tongue which is like a two sided dagger which can't stop but gossip. They have copulated and multiplied and has taken up the whole of this beautiful earth. They have survived since ages, even before the time of Charles Darwin.
I am still hanging on that rope, which is weaved with the haunting memories of childhood, when every day I woke up in fear... fear of being portrayed worthless, fear of getting beaten for my lack of smartness.. fear of being ignored because my existence is not very important. I assumed I am the cause of all the frustrations lingering in my house, I am the reason for my unhappy mother and my angry father.. In my teenage days, I realized everyone of the inhabitants is happy in their own little world.. so I created one for my own, a very small space... It was not painted purple with teenage fantasies or infatuations like my friends had. It was neither painted red with all the aspirations for my future and how I am going to become some worthy professional one day. It was but glued with rusty flaky nothingness... It was so grey that it felt like it was a black hole. No one could come into my space, since it lacked doors and the only window is so narrow and flaky that you had to crawl so hard; you might even wound your ego!!!It was not easy for anyone to come to my space
Climbing down the memory rope, the cobwebs starts to strangle me. The more farther I go, the suffocation and panic gets intense. The web starts to tighten up, weird sticky spider legs crawl on my face, and I feel nauseated in their droppings. Now there is no escape. The reality seems like a speck of fading yellow sun gleam from above. Now I get trapped in this fear... this unknown fear that keeps on gnawing from my insides, tearing apart my flesh and I am afraid it will stick its sharp nails through my skin, so everyone around me will scatter around. Everyone around me... those people who don't recognize me at all, who are now a part of my life, who completes me, who makes my existence meaningful... I am sure to scare them away. They don't understand even a fraction of me. They all look amused and panicked. Is she loosing it? What is this, some sort of game she plays, so she can hurt us? Why can't she act normal? ?
"Normal" is just one of the words that I can't comprehend. Of course, there is a shit load of normal people around me with their smile so fake and their minds so crooked, that they strive to be normal, by portraying others as abnormal. . Yes, they do can talk behind my back.. yes it is allowed...freedom of speech. Haven't you heard of the first amendment? They carry their wrinkle free holy book in their left hand but has a long lashing venomous satanic tongue which is like a two sided dagger which can't stop but gossip. They have copulated and multiplied and has taken up the whole of this beautiful earth. They have survived since ages, even before the time of Charles Darwin.
I am still hanging on that rope, which is weaved with the haunting memories of childhood, when every day I woke up in fear... fear of being portrayed worthless, fear of getting beaten for my lack of smartness.. fear of being ignored because my existence is not very important. I assumed I am the cause of all the frustrations lingering in my house, I am the reason for my unhappy mother and my angry father.. In my teenage days, I realized everyone of the inhabitants is happy in their own little world.. so I created one for my own, a very small space... It was not painted purple with teenage fantasies or infatuations like my friends had. It was neither painted red with all the aspirations for my future and how I am going to become some worthy professional one day. It was but glued with rusty flaky nothingness... It was so grey that it felt like it was a black hole. No one could come into my space, since it lacked doors and the only window is so narrow and flaky that you had to crawl so hard; you might even wound your ego!!!It was not easy for anyone to come to my space
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